.

You always say "You'll never see how you pushed me away" or some variant of that, but the thing is I really really do see how I did that. I had to for my own self preservation. You were sucking me in, loving me, in all the ways you loved me and then pushing me away, telling me I wasn't good enough to be with even though you were with me daily.

All the years of people rejecting me kids taunting me, griefers griefing , my mother, all of it: none of it prepared me for that. I was genuinely surprised when you did it too. I always seem to forget just how naive I am.

the pain was actually physical.

Maybe you forget how intense it feels to be young and in love...

Maybe you don't.


We're not compatible.

I need to shine in the light of other peoples attention hand in hand with my lover
not shy away from it.

You once told me you were a very open person and not scared of sharing anything with anyone. I took that to mean you were like me. Clearly I was wrong.

It is you who will never see how you fucked this.

I made a mistake. ..I saw you as who you wanted to be rather than who you actually are.

Scared to put your music out.
Scared to put your heart out.

I refuse to be like you.
I refuse to keep hiding.
For better or worse world,

HERE THE FUCK I AM