there is nothing so lonely as being surrounded by your community. Watching the kids play and the moms mother and the couples bicker or hold hands or whatever it is you can't do by yourself.

I took Drew to a local shindig the community centre puts on. Free pizza the kids get to make, and is then thrown in a real brick oven outside..

Should have been tons of fun

well it was for drew.

I lost count of how many times my loneliness overwhelmed me.

of how many anxiety attacks i had wishing you were there with us and knowing you never will be.

I feel completely incapable of enjoying my life...

afterall, no one else wants to share it with us so there must be something you all see that I don't.
something putrid that no one wants anything to do with.

surely it is whithin me and not her..
surely removing myself from the picture will benefit her greatly despite what you say

I find it ironic that you tried to convince me to live a life you wouldnt want anything to do with
if you dont why should I?