it's not like when justin left, it's nothing like that.. I can forget about you for hours and hours and hours.

I went to the cottage with Liz and anton and Vesna and her toy poodle Zoey.

I tanned and swam and ate and smoked weed and drank beer and mixed drinks and we laughed and played cranium and liz and anton snuck off to fuck a million times and the dog was in sheer extacy and I only cried my self to sleep.

I feel dumn, I am so hurt and i feel so dumb for letting you do this to me.

You knew how vulerable i was, you kinew I was falling so hard for you and youlet me, you let me to stroke your ego and fill your bank account and you couldnt even pretend to love me in return.

at least Justin faked it. you didnt even think I was worth that did you?



No one has ever loved me.
Literally.
genuinely
no one

I have been used and abused and beaten and lied to and cheated on and insulted and everything you can think of but no one has ever held me completely enraptured and in love with me the way I have done to so many.

youre not even special marty youre just the oldest and grossest of all the losers I let use me. Youre not unique or special..i could have fallen for ANYONE as vulnerable as i was.

youre nothing